Is it too much?

What's up? It's been a while, right? Let me start, I am almost nineteen and still waiting. I just finished my second semester and I am on my semester break. Yeah nothing much to do, just pampering myself all day, hanging out with my favorite bunch and yes that pretty much it. Now we are in 2013, and now I can proudly say, I don't trust anyone, anymore. I had enough of this "so called high school drama". I am insecure about my current surrounding, so I should supervise my words, behavior and everything around everyone. My life have been a fun roller coaster ride. Ups and downs, thick and thin are apart of my life. But I ended up, filling my self with hatred and egos. No one can alter my ego.

Moving on, I wish one day someone will love me for who I am. It is not that easy for me to accept a "stranger" in my life. I met so many people in my past, but I don't think they will be a part of my future. But I met someone, you should see how I smile whenever you glanced at me. I decided to keep this one feeling to myself. I don't want to go through another phase of broken heart, so he shouldn't know how I feel. I believe in Allah, if he is the one, he will stay. Dear future lover, I hope you will find me because I am afraid that if I loses hope, I might pushes you away from my life. Waiting for you are damn tiring, don't you know that?

I am surrounded by my family and friends whom I love the most. Honestly, I've been acting like a douche lately. I fake everything up in front of certain people. This is because I can't accept the way they treated me, so I stopped being myself and turned into one heartless and selfish btch. One thing I know, there are many kind of "friends" in my life. The one that I trust, the one that I used to trust, the one that I can count on, someone with a shoulder to lean on and so many more.

This girl right here are not the kind of person who wakes up early in the morning just to take a morning walk. I woke up anytime I want. And she is a trouble-maker, a heart-breaker, clumsy, a mess in a dress and most importantly she do not know how to behave. Pardon my behavior! It takes someone really special that can accept those flaws. I've enormous problems on how to dress up properly in a "girlish" way. Someone, help please? Ah who am I kidding, I got no time for that, too busy fan-girling over Green Day. No matter what happen, I chose to be happy and let this stupid feelings out. Heads up, remember Allah and stay insecure. Peace out, good night!

Dalilah x