Highly emotional post

Hello UiTM Perlis :(

I keep seeking for your attention even though I know that you'll never care. I ignored you in many ways but deep down inside I truly care about you more than you know. Sorry for being a bit emotional. Yeah that's me, I'm highly emotional even about something stupid. For the first time in my whole teenage life, I had a crush on someone that treat me like shit. I just can't stand all these goose bum and all these butterflies. This is weird, I used to be some kind of heartless and I can live my own life without someone that I love. My own friend said that I'm childish and never care about relationships. All I know about relationships is a friendship that will never end between us. To be honest, I never confess anything about my feelings towards boys with any of my friends before cause I think it seems pretty stupid. But then I realised, my friend being completely honest with me about their feelings and why shouldn't I? It is not that I don't trust them, I just don't wanna look stupid in front them. Truth to be told, I cried my eyes out at night cause I know  that I can't have you.

Maybe I need to stop running towards someone who care least about me. But sadly, I just can't cause you meant a lot to me. I just need a hug from a friend right now and tell me that he is not my Mr. Right. So stop wishing that he'll be mine. Since when all those stupid love songs just seems so right? Sigh, why can't I just had a celebrity crush? Having a crush towards normal people seems pretty hurting.

Moving on, now my friends seems pretty busy with colleges and uni, so do I. Sadly, I still have no idea who am I gonna be in the future. At the time like this stop giving me second doubt. You know what I mean right? Stop saying stuff like, 'this is not your future' 'you can't do it' 'you'll be so far away from your family' and all of those bullshits. Listen to me, this is my future so I'm gonna live it and I'm not sure you'll be in it if you keep passing on judgement like that. Seriously, sorry for being a bit rude. Anyway, I miss my boys. I miss all those moments when we acted all stupid in front of the camera before the suns goes down. I miss having sushi till we chocked up. I miss watching one of my boy best friend playing football at night. I miss watching movie at night. I just miss that moments when I tried to drive a car at 3 am and got into a wrong way. I just miss all those things :).

Dalilah x